Remember yesterday I was all fired up about my crime novel again and made great progress?
Do I feel like that today? No!
I'm not sure. This is very typical of me. I'm not sure what to do about this or how to address the problem.
I have worked on the novel today. I've done a bit more research, which felt more like skiving off to read, to be honest.
I've been in a short story frame of mind and the novel feels cumbersome and unwieldy. I feel too bogged down in the detail and 'getting it right'. I rarely feel this way about short stories, because, well... they're too short for this to happen.
I have done some editing work on a story and if I get my skates on before the school run, then I can get it submitted today. That will feel like a job well done. Something complete.
And maybe this is where the problem lies with the novel. I'm being too much of a perfectionist. I can't stop fiddling with the structure. I felt supremely confident yesterday that I had the structure nailed. This is the answer, I thought. This will keep readers on the edge of their seats, burning the midnight oil, dying to know what happens next!
Then a new day dawns and I think, no. By adding those new scenes today, I've bored everyone again. That wasn't a very exciting section, was it? Yes, there was a fair amount of background detail in that section and that's necessary, right? Have I kept that particular section short enough, though? And there isn't really very much in way of vivid imagery or beautiful use of language, is there?
You see all these doubts creeping in? It's all very well people saying (including myself), 'Just get the bloody thing written, woman!', but there seem so many hurdles to jump over. And what do I do when the doubts creep in? Amend my Sainsbury's online order; write in my diary; make a cup of tea; load the dishwasher or washing machine; feed the guinea pigs; read; write this blog. Before I know it, it's three-twenty and it's time to collect my youngest from school.